Bombs and Babies

A scene at an airport:
"Halt!"

"Yeah you!"

"You in the diaper!"

"Halt!"

Shots are fired. People hurt. Crying, delays in flights, and general annoyances ensue.

This scenario, according to the Chicago Tribune is happening all too often these days as government officials find more and more names on the no-fly list belong to children under the age of two. Many can't talk or even walk and what's more appalling-most can not properly use a toilet. So, how do these babies become terrorists? We know for a fact that the parents aren't terrorists. Why? Because their names are not on the no-fly list. So, if it isn't genetics, then what is it? And how do we prevent future infants and toddlers from becoming terrorists?

These questions are easy to ask, but the answers, I'm afraid, are not so easy to find. All we can do is speculate. And have no fear, we've got some of the best speculators right here in the US of A. Here are some possibilities for stopping infant terrorists:

*Better Sonograms-perhaps fitted with a state-of-the-art fetal terrorist detector. this way we can cuff them and send them off to guantanamo bay the second after we cut their terrorist umbilical chords.

*Install Metal Detectors And Video Cameras In Day Cares Across America-block tower or missile silo? you tell me.

*Random Diaper Checks-sure, diapers are there for a reason, but are baby terrorists taking advantage of their poop catchers?

*Fix the damn no-fly list so that babies stopped getting needlessly anal searched.