Face/Off
as all of cleveland gets pumped up for the world's first face transplant, i feel like a kid in a candy store, or maybe a kid in a face store. who's face do i want? easy. former milwaukee brewers relief pitcher dan plesac's.
oh, i could have gone for a more famous face, like a david lynch, or a more striking face like a clint eastwood, but dan plesac's got the face for me. think about all the good i could do with those boyish cheekbones. i'd take that chin, and do with it what dan plesac couldn't- score endorsement deals. just for men hair coloring, maaco car painting places, paintball arenas throughout the midwest, you name it. "hi, i'm mike balzer with dan plesac's face. if you like fishing, you'll love myrtle mcgrath's tackle and bait, located just minutes off of I-90. so take it from dan plesac's face- if you need parachute adams or a disco midge, mcgrath's got it!"with my pinnache and dan plesac's face, who knows what i could accomplish? and what if the genes for being a decent relief pitcher are in the face? i could be the baseball player i never dreamed about being, but wouldn't mind if it happened! Oh, the possibilities are endless. Of course, dan plesac is still alive, which means I'll have to kill him, but it's not like there's a shortage of reasons or anything.
posted by Baz at 11:16 AM
7 Comments:
For some reason, whenever those who talk about Dan Plesac do talk about him, I invariably think "Oh! He's a good young pitcher." Even though he's 43, very old for a baseball player.
So if you're looking for eternal youth, Baz, I believe you've found your face-victim!
other people talk about dan plesac?
Oh yeah. Primarily baseball announcers and other Plesacs, but I'm sure it happens...?
if i was related to dan plesac, i'd probably talk about him, i guess. it depends on how distant a relation. then again, we're not related to him and we're talking about him, so i guess you're right.
also, do you think any pitcher-catcher tandem had a higher cuteness-to-servicability ratio than plesac and bj surhoff? i doubt it.
That's a pretty cute battery.
One must not forget to mention the Scott Service/Scott Servais (pronounced Service) tandem of the mid-nineties. They have the same name (phonetically)! That's cute.
and since their last names (phoenetically) are service, the servicability side of the equation is infinate. they could be quite ugly and still win. 1 divided by 0 is still 1, right? wrong?
i guess this conversation is why cuteness is not a benchmark of baseball greatness, though it's also proof that it should be.
and in case you were wondering, yes it did take me three hours to notice the connection between their last names and my ratio.
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