tiger woods hootie-stache update

Tiger Woods continued growing his goatee, inspired by Hootie and the Blowfish frontman Darius Rucker. Three weeks into growth, Woods has realized complete center-chin coverage, and expects mustache-to-soul-patch unity within the month. The new whiskers recently graced the cover of Modern Moustache magazine, and another facial hair periodical, Beard, is planning a spread dedicated to Tiger's new look. Asked why he was growing the facial hair, Woods said, "I've always wanted two things: win a dozen major championships, and grow a cool goatee. Now I can die knowing that I lived my life to the fullest." With that, he pulled a revolver from his golf bag, and fatally shot himself. Reports from the scene varied, but at least one journalist was heard saying, "Hmm. Makes sense."