Big News!

My girlfriend and I are pre-pregnant! Actually, so are you and your boyfriend/girlfriend. And my sisters. And cousins. And Ruth.

"Wait. How is that possible?" you ask, "And what does pre-pregnant mean?".

That's the brand new federal designation for any woman between her first menstration and menopause, regardless of her plans to actually ever get pregnant.

Normally I'd try to follow up the news story with a witty comment or a joke, but how the fuck could I top that?