Monday, May 15, 2006

Let's Fuck With The NSA

Let's all screw with the NSA! Why? Because it's fun and absolutely free!
Here's how:

Now that we know that every call we make is being tracked in the effort to find terrorists, I think we should all start calling my friend from high school, Jake Sands. I haven't talked to Jake in years. But, we should all call his cell phone number constantly (440-272-6515). Seriously, tell all your friends to do the same. It'll get the NSA buzzing and then maybe they'll tap his phone and listen to conversations. This is when phase two kicks in.

See, every time he answers or you get an answering machine, speak in code. The code we'll use has only a few stipulations. Speak normally, like any other phone conversation you might have, but wherever punctuation would be in the text version of your speech throw in a word of phrase from these categories:
Numbers followed by "er"-ie niner, fourer
Burt Lancaster Movies
Salad Ingredients
Name Derivitives Of William-Will, Willy, Bill, Billy
A Type Of Meat Said Three Times

Here's a sample of a conversation you might have. Let's say your name is Tito. (Quick Tip: Pretend You Know Jake From High School, Too)

You: HelloCrouton JakeRed is that youFiver It's meBeefBeefBeef TitoBilly from high schoolCucumber How are youRope Of Sand

Jake: What?

Me: Right
Hang up.

It's important to hang up immediately after affirmatively answering his question.
Who knows? If this goes well enough, we might even get Jake put on some kind of terrorist listing or arrested or deported. The possibilities are endless here.


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