Immigration Reform x 8

The immigration debate just got stoked again by President Bush's red-hot poker. I don't know about you, but I'm all for it. Send the National Guard. Maybe when we get this Mexican border problem fixed we can finally move into strengthening our innerstate borders.

Seriously, I can't tell you how infuriating it is to find out that some people working here in Chicago are actually from Indiana! Well, get a job there, buddy! Or don't they sell insurance in Indiana?! Don't stroll into our state expecting free handouts!

I mean you can come visit, sure. See a concert. Buy a Sears Tower shot glass. But, do not-I repeat in bold capitals-DO NOT stay here. Your revenue is appreciated, but your alien presence is not. So, get an Illinois State driver's license and move your ass here if you want to work here. I don't care if your family is stuck in Indiana. You work in Illinois, you stay in Illinois. Or stop rooting for the White Sox, Cubs, Bulls, Bears, Blackhawks, Sky (our new WNBA team), or Rush (our Arena
Football team)(Yeah, we've got a lot of sport teams, Indiana. Suck it!). And stop eating deep dish pizza! And stop watching The Untouchables-Okay you can watch The Untouchables.
But, if we're going to be jingoists, let's at least do it right, damn it!