Holy Pierogi!

Regular Old Non-Holy Pierogies

Apparently, the second coming is under way. The savior was sighted in Ohio in a woman's burned pierogies (or at least one of them). Did she immediately call her local church? Nope. She froze it for a while and then put it up on E-Bay with a starting price of $500 because a Jesus Pierogi doesn't belong in a house in Ohio. It belongs in a museum or a church or an online casino.

Charred food may just be the trendy way to visit this world from Heaven. After all, it wasn't so long ago that Mary appeared in a burned grilled cheese sandwich (the devout chef would only accept $28,000 for it), so why not a pierogi? But, what's the message here? What are they trying to say-these grilled cheese Marys and pierogi Jesuses? Should we stop eating potato filled pasta? Or sandwiches made with only dairy products? Both? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Madness!!! Why won't the pierogi speak?!! Speak!! What happens if we never figure out the point of these edible saviors and blessed virgins? What happens when goldenpalace.com stops buying them? And what of these holy chefs? Are they living saints? Does everything they cook turn into Jesus or Mary? If so, why aren't they at more church banquets? So many questions. What if none of these ever get answered? What then?

I suppose we'll just have to admit that sometimes we want to believe that charred food is more than it really is. We want to believe that the burning wasn't all for naught, that it's not our fault. We didn't burn it. The Lord burned it. And just like that, guilt turns a minor cooking mishap into a miracle*. But, sometimes a burn is just a burn and we need to learn to forgive ourselves.


*Also, sometimes people are just greedy bastards!