prepubescants, start your engines!

one of my favorite co-workers at my dreary office job is a literature graduate-turned-database manager named ruth (not gamble), and last week, she took time from her busy day to BLOW MY MIND.

her nine year-old niece is a drag racer.

turns out there's a very well developed junior drag racing league, and it's popularity is growing mightily. much like little league baseball, junior drag racing teaches youngsters the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat (though mostly just the agony of defeat), but unlike little league, Jr. Drag sticks 8-year-olds in miniature funny cars that routinely exceed 70mph, then makes them race against other 8-year-olds with triple-digit savings bonds on the line.

to be a jr. dragster, you have to be between 8 and 17 years old (damn!), and be a member of the ihra's junior drag racing association (double damn!). read as much as you want about it here, and enjoy this quick profile i threw together after deciding who my favorite junior drag racer was.

dossier: patrick "fast pat" boniferro

Age: 13

Chassis: LJ Chassis

Engine: Briggs and Stratton

Likes: Fast Cars, Joe Carter, Sapceships

Dislikes: Noogies, Social Studies

Nemisis: Ryan Boniferro

Career Aspirations: "I want win a lot of trophies"

read more actual profiles of some actual junior drag racers here.