Germs Be Crazy

Did you hear this? Apparently over-the-counter cough syrups are BUNK!!

So, last night, in a state of mild delirium, my mind for no particular reason (save the mild delirium) leapt to the thought that germs suck. They really do. And while this seems pretty simple and obvious, my mind reached farther and dove into the complex-the hypothetical. Like how the hell do you stop germs from sickening us? How do you reason with these things?
There's no high-pitched squeal languge, no sign language like dolphins or gorillas. But, if we could figure out their method of communication, we could get to know them, get to know how they tick, and dare I say, maybe even actually become friends with them. Take them to dinner and the movies. Hit a bar, drink it up, and tearfully (or the germ-equivalent to tearfully) spill out all our innermost secrets. You know, get them to trust us. And then, we trick them into believing that rocks would be the perfect host for germs-they're docile and an untapped source for hosting. Then, we kill two birds with no stone (no pun intended). Suddently the world is free of all pesky germs and rocks. BOOM! Problem solved!