Ms. Jones, Step Into My Office. For the Good of the Company!

Public speaking is stressful, no? Sex is a stress reliever, also no? A British professor (and this is why I want to get back into academia) received a large grant to study the effects of different kinds of sex on stress levels from public speaking. The results? Sex is awesome.

Oh. You mean as it related to the thesis? Yeah, sex with penetration reduces stress for both men and women, but oral, masturbation, all those other "not sex" things that are actually sex things, they don't work so good. So, if you have a public speaking engagement and are feeling a bit nervous about it, go ahead and fuck someone's brains out. Your boss will be glad you did.