CTA

On the way to work, the train brayed this warning:

"Soliciting is prohibited on all CTA trains. No smoking, eating, drinking, or listening to radio and other loud devices."
And I thought, why stop there?

"The CTA prohibits punches to the gut, ribs, face, and punches in general; public urination; petty theft; petty crime in general; racial or sexual harassment; racial and sexual discrimination; prostitution; organ harvesting; child, animal, or spousal abuse; identity theft; bribery; forgery; extortion; incest; arson; embezzlement; aiding and abedding of known criminals or illegal aliens; practicing medicine, law, public teaching, operating heavy machinery, hunting without a license; poaching; sale and purchase of illegeal contriband (including illegal narcotics and fireworks); armed robbery; nepotism; rape; torture; assassinations; or any sort of murder in the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd degree on any of its trains."