Me Hair Pretty Someday

If you've known me for more than a year, you know my hairstyle followed a dependable cycle: rock the close crop ceasar cut, followed by six months of growth to below-the-ear length, and repeat as necessary. Those first couple weeks of the short hair are kind of sad; I look very sickly, more so than usual, I mean. I don't think I can go back to that. What's more, I think I've developed a Samson complex, whereby my long hair grants me super-bazular* powers. Unfortunately, my hair is rapidly approaching mullet status, and at some point in the very near future, it will cause more hooking-up problems than opportunities (which is the rubric by which any haircut should be measured).

Now normally I'd just buzz my hair off myself, or if I was lazy, I'd run to Supercuts and have them do it. Since I've decided to keep the hair long for the time being, that's not an option, what with Supercuts being the Special Olympics of hairstyling. I'd trust them with a discus, but not a javelin, if you know what I mean. If you don't, I meant the clippers were a discus, but actually crafting a male long-hair coif is a javelin.

So I think I'll be forced to find a "stylist", which has it's own pitfalls. Notably the one whereby hair stylists consider themselves artists, and take a fair bit of license with your look. I'm sure they know how to make me look my best, but looking my best isn't necessarily what I'm after here. So I've decided to interview potential stylists, and have them shadow me for a week while I go socializing. Then and only then will I feel comfortable in giving them free reign on my appearance, and I think that will be the most confident haircut they'll have ever given. It's a win-win, so long as you ignore the week I'll have a hairdresser following me around.

* Apparently super-bazular is a word. SpellCheck did not have a problem with it. It probably has to do with the hyphen, but I rather like the idea that the word bazular (which SpellCheck does have a problem with) means something. Preferably something like "incomparably brilliant" or "flawless".