happy archduke assassiversary!

can you believe it's been 91 years since archduke ferdinand and his lovely wife susan were assassinated? man, where does the time go?

i wanted to give them something, but i was afraid to get the gift wrong- you know how you get gold on your fiftieth and silver on your twenty-fifth and what not? so i consulted the internet, and found this year-by-year guide to anniversary gifts. unfortunately, they only go up to sixty, so i had to do some math and come up with combinations that would fulfill my gift requirement. here are some of the choices:

1. an origami bracelet decorated with diamonds and pearls in the shape of bullets (60 [diamonds]+ 30 [pearls] +1 [paper])
2. 10 pots and a certificate of authenticity (9 [pottery] x 10 + 1 [paper])
3.. a flight of 17 stairs with a heated wrought-iron bar bent to resemble neon, spelling out the phrase "this way to the POWDA KEG! (5 [wood] x 17 + 6 [iron])
4. an elaborate teddy with a steel plated chastity belt, pearls in the shape of an arrow pointing towards the nether regions, elephant tusks over each breast, and copper racing stripes (40[ivory] + 13[lace] + 11[steel] + 7[copper] + 30 [pearls]
5. a piece of reef coral with steel beams and sapphires all jammed up in it (35 [coral or jade] + 45 [sapphires] + 11 [steel])

anyone else want to pitch in?