WE GOT A NEW PLANET...

Scientists may have found a tenth planet in our solar system. Guess what it's called?
2003 UB313. It's a little past Pluto and it's atmosphere is made entirely of banjos and ukuleles. If an astronaut takes off their helmet, they're likely to get a castanet in the eye. Due to the lack of oxygen, you can't breathe, but you can sing in three-part harmony with yourself. Volcanoes cover over 3/4 of the land. And when they erupt, they all spew Tommy James and the Shondells sheet music. But seriously, no one really knows anything about this planet yet-except that it's name sucks ass.