Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Derek Jeter News



So, the Yankees shortstop, Derek Jeter, received a piece of mail calling him a "traitor to his race" and threatening his life if he didn't stop dating white women. In reality, he's only half a traitor what with being biracial and all. Racists have never really been known for superb research skills. Shotty racist bookkeeping aside, maybe they've got a point. But, if you're going to "cleanse" the world or even our nation, let's go balls out people. Sure, I'm a white person, but I'm not the same white person as say a German-English white person. Being 1/2 Hungarian, 1/4 English, and 1/4 Irish; I only have a quarter-of-a-human in common with that person, so why should we be hugging each other or kissing each other or living in the same state for that matter (All those in favor of making Pennsyvania HalfHungarianQuarterEnglishQuarterIrishsylvania say "Aye!")? If we lived only with those of our precise heritage we would all have wonderful pedigrees and some of us would have fabulous hair, while others would have fabulous nails, and some of us maybe would have both, but no one could go outside their pedigree to get either (Kind of like dogs and horses, but only more standing uprightish).

What more could you want? Love is pointless, after all, unless someone can love you the same as you love them-for me that would be 50% Hungarian 25% English 25% Irish love. Attraction to anyone of different heritage is fake and unreal. God wouldn't want it that way. Why, you may then ask, would God invent cars, bikes, and boats if he wanted us to stay with our "own people"? And the simple answer is God didn't invent cars, bikes, and boats. Satan did.

God invented leashes.
Happy dating everyone.

Oh, if anyone knows a decent 50% Hungarian 25% English 25% Irish girl, drop me a line. The love of my life is 25% Mexican, 25% Native American, 25% German, 25% Scotch. So, she probably won't be allowed in
HalfHungarianQuarterEnglishQuarterIrishsylvania.

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