formulaic blog post about humerous news story

trained, armed dolphins washed into gulf of mexico by hurricane

shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. thats the end of the rhetorical device gag- onto the quotation marks gag.

we trained dolphins. to kill "underwater spies" with "poison darts" and now they're "loose" in the "gulf of" mexico thanks to hurr"icane" katrina. that's the end of the quoatation marks gag- onto the pop culture reference gag.

fans of the 1990's sci-fi drama seaQuest no doubt remember ensign darwin the dolphin, a trained dolphin who could speak to humans with the help of a translator/voice box that sounded a lot like JINX from the lea thompson vehicle space camp. that's the end of the pop culture gag- onto the current events tie-in.

with voices that cute and darts that posionous, i think we can all safely assume that the dolphin assassins will take over an autonymous island nation within two weeks. the early favorite is haiti, followed by cuba and the conch republic. that's the end of the current events tie-in- onto the rhyming couplet wrap up.

it now begins you human fool;
the awful dawn of dolphin rule