A New Judicial Nominee For America!!

President Bush has decided on his second nomination for Supreme Court, surprising many who doubted he'd choose a woman.



And it looks to be Harriet Miers, a 60 year-old former Dallas City Council member and Chairman of the Texas Lottery Commission. Most recently, she served as a White House aid to Mr. Bush. (How convenient!) If you look closely at that resume, you'll notice the lack of judicial experience. Although she holds a law degree from Southern Methodist University, she has never actually donned the black robe. And, strange as this may seem, it is not uncommon. In fact, 10 of the 34 appointees since 1933 came from outside the judicial system. The late Chief Justice Rehnquist being one of them. I suppose you've got to consider more than experience when selecting a Supreme Court Justice. In fact, here's some of the applicants that President Bush considered before settling on Miers:


Skip Bradford
Born-1/16/1987
Bagger/Stock Boy-Dominics Grocery Store

Qualities-Honest, Agile, and Once bagged milk, eggs, charcoal, and a bag
of flour in one bag without an egg breaking.

Judicial Experience-Followed the OJ Simpson trial almost religiously every night until bedtime (8 pm. He was only 7).

Limitations-Has a lot of homework to do at night.


Jimmy and Gary Carter
Born-7/28/45
Siamese Twins, Lawyer/Lawyer-Johnson, Johnson & Bismark

Qualities-No pun intended, but two heads are better than one (That's a
FACT JACK!)

Judicial Experience-Have met many judges and even admire one of them.

Limitations-Unclear policy whether they would count as one or two
justices. If counted as one, would the other have to close his eyes, cover
his mouth, and plug his ears?


Bette Davis
Born-4/5/08
Actress
Qualities-Where to begin? Oscars? Emmys? Golden Globes? Plain ol' pinache?

Judicial Experience-Plenty of movies dealing with judges and prisons and the like.

Limitations-Mommie Dearest shows a brutally dark side of her that may not
fit with the current (or any of the past) Supreme Court. Also, she's dead.