Friday, January 13, 2006

Higher Test Scores=More Money

Houston schools will be trying out this policy soon which begs the question: if your paycheck was tied to your students test scores, wouldn't you just help them cheat? I know I would. Not only would I be the coolest teacher in town, I'd likely be the richest.

If 32 students get 32 100%'s and that translates into $320,000.00, you bet your ass I'm slipping answer keys to my kids. What are they going to do? Tell their parents they didn't deserve the A+? Right. If there's a monitor watching the testing, I'll pre-make scantrons with the kids names and correct answers already filled in, then use slight of hand to switch out the kids actual tests with the perfect ones.

In the end, I think the school board would be so happy with the high scores they wouldn't even care to investigate. And if they did, I could pay off the investigator.

"How much do they pay you?"

"$27,000 a year. No benefits."

(Slips four hundred dollar bills in their front pocket)

"You work for me now."

Now that this pay-scale teaching program is up and running, I'm off to get my education certificate. And scope out some houses. Apparently in Houston.


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