Shiver Me Vomit

On the days I work at my day job, I pass the only Chicagoland Long John Silvers on my commute. This morning I was greeted with a sign there that activated my gag reflex something awful; Buttered Lobster Bites.

The Long John's website is pushing the new "delicacies" pretty hard, creating an unbearably lame character named Lobsterhero, and offering a 101 level class on the kind of lobster they use (in this case, Langostino Lobster, which sounds to me like the last-name-used-as-first-name of a high school character in a National Lampoon movie; the one who the principal is obsessed with bringing down-"I'll get you Langostino!" This was a very long parenthetical.)

Let me remind you all that for a brief period in the 80's, you could order extra "Barnacles" with your Long John Silvers' meal (Barnacles being extra droplets of fried batter). With that in mind, I'm sure you'll join me in giving LJS Butter Lobster Bites an unprecedented 12 on the Fast Food Grossness Scale (which only goes from 1-10).