Thursday, February 09, 2006

SkyMall Part Three

Part One
Part Two

Picture this. It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining bright. You just bought a new pair of running shoes, and your brand new iPod is loaded up and ready to go. You grab Sparky's leash, and go to take your best friend for the best walk of his best life. But he won't budge. You try everything. You lay a trail of food going towards the door, you use reverse-pet-psychology, you exit and leave the door open just a crack. Nothing. Sparky isn't going anywhere. And you can't go by yourself because you've got some weird psychological issues about leaving the building alone. What are you going to do?

You're going to pack your dog into one of three fine products, each apparently designed to help you take a hesitant canine on your constitutional.

Aside from the obvious point that these carriers completely defeat the point of taking your dog for a walk, they come perilously close to dog-torture. Of all the dogs I know, zero of them hate being outside, and of those zero, another zero like being a cage. I'm not a mathematician or anything, but I'm still pretty sure that zero minus zero is zero, and I'm not a statistician, but I think we can trust my sample as being representative.

It goes without saying that I don't see what makes these products appropriate for in-flight shopping, but I'm beginning to think my definition of appropriate is too strict. I can't really think of anything that would be appropriate for in-flight shopping.

I could litteraly blog about each and every item in the catalogue, but word on the sketch scene is that San Francisco's Kasper Hauser is working on a book on the subject, so maybe we'll just call this the end of an absolutely average trilogy.


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