For The Love Of Coffee

Drink up! Coffee is GOOD for you!! Really good for you! Researchers have unlocked the secrets of why we like caffeine so much. It increases the activity in our frontal lobe, which in turn, increases the power of our short term memory. I've just had eight cups myself and a Red Bull and a couple of Mountain Dews and a few No Doz. I'm telling you I've never felt better!! It's like a party in my brain and all the synapses are wasted, but happy dancing to C and C Music Factory wasted. They're drinking beer out of funnels, man! Have you ever seen a synapse smile? Me neither. I imagine it'd be more scary than heart-warming. Kind of like a rabid puppy waking up. Hey, remember when Jessie was wasted on caffeine and had that tearful monologue on Saved By The Bell? Do you think everyone from our generation brings that up whenever caffeine is mentioned? I do, but I also like those great white sharks they used to put in Shark Bites fruit snacks. Do they still make those? Woo. Caffeine. I'll remember this moment for as long as the buzz lasts!