Thursday, April 27, 2006

The Land Of Knod

From the desk of Shane Portman, Customer Service Representative:

Today I find myself exhausted. Not tired. Exhausted. You ever have one of those days where you keep yawning, but you're not tired? I know for a fact that if I went home this second I would be doing a million other things and not one of them would be sleeping. But, here I stand. Yawning and blinking my eyes open. It's like this strange dimension where I'm always sleepy and no one lets me sleep. Not cool.

In an effort to force the concept and thusly the adventure behind The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe into my life, I reached in desperation. Being a gym, we lack wardrobes. So, I went with the next best thing. I pulled the top drawer open and forced my way into it. And betwixt pencils and pens and staples of various sizes, I found a new land. A land of crumpled love letters and two week notices. A land where post-its roam free, unmarked and beautiful. I bend staples into antelope, moose, and elephants. Oh, and one tiger-just cause. I can make anything I want. What I can't bend from staples, I draw on post-it notes. Two-headed aliens, break dancing turtle doves, and Forest Whitaker. And I can even cut them out with scissors.
Yes, scissors! Can you believe it?
It's all here for the taking. And I can stay as long as I want!
Days, months, years, or until someone realizes I've shoved my head into a drawer and pulls me out.


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