no dalla left behind

join me everyone in welcoming dalla andracchio to the animal club commune in chicago! today, she officially takes the place of chad bender in the household, and brings a beautiful new dimension to our ramshackle confines.

well sir, not three days after moving to the city, dalla was reduced to tears by the no child left behind program. no, not because it's hopelessly underfunded or because it makes autistic children take the same tests as regular kids, but because she works for it. her new job is some kind of creative educator with the program that travels around to "inner city" schools, and performs some kind of queerballs theatre piece that's aimed at getting kids to clean their rooms, get excited about learning and other such things that theatre can't inspire people to do.

dalla was learning her script, and was literally crying about the things she would have to say. the script was grammatically challenged, and featured novel stage directions like, "at this point, entertain the kids with your skills, like magic or juggling", and "this is the part where you answer what their questions is". i feel for dalla. she's a sweetheart, but she doesn't know magic or how to juggle. but i told her i'd teach her how to juggle magic tricks so she can blow the socks off her supervisor.