On Nap's Tooth

$22,500

Get this, some guy just bought a tooth for $22,520. It had apparently belonged to Napoleon at one time (the time when he was alive). So, if any of you have a late eighteenth-early nineteenth century revolutionary's upper right canines lying around, now finally seems like the time to sell. You're not going to find a more wide-open market for another hundred years or so.

In other news:
What the hell do you do with Napoleon's tooth?! The only worthwhile thing I can think of would be to remove one of my teeth and replace it with Napoleon's. That way, you could say things like "Did you see the way Napoleon's tooth tore into that pasta?","Hey, Napolean's tooth just ate yogurt!", and "Well, I guess I'll go brush Napoleon's tooth and hit the sack."

FOR SHIT'S SAKE, BURY THE TOOTH AND LET IT DECAY IN PEACE!!!!