do they know it's halloween
yeah, it might be the best song ever recorded. thanks, beck and indie rock friends
itunes link, totally worth $0.99
Your blog away from blog
yeah, it might be the best song ever recorded. thanks, beck and indie rock friends
i forgot to put my cell phone on vibrate at the office today. i then proceeded to leave it in my coat pocket, so i couldn't feel it vibrate before it blasted out my recently purchased ringtone. so, while i was meeting with my boss, studying the numbers on our next data distribution, from my desk comes the ear-piercingly loud opening to "eye of the tiger". i was a little embarrassed, to put it lightly. i ran out and turned it off, and when i came back to my boss' office she just looked at me for a second. "what?", i said, "i like feeling like a champion". she didn't crack a smile, and i think it's because it wasn't all that funny. anyway, at least it wasn't my last ringtone, "shut your fucking face uncle fucker" from south park.
OMG! NEW MOONS!
during my lunch break, i was wondering to myself:
my years at carnegie-mellon prepared me well for a lifetime of comedy, and it appears some current staff is following in my footsteps. witness the new book, How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion., by CMU robot-scientist daniel "if-then" wilson (pictured right, nickname made up). haven't read it, probably won't, but that will not stop me from recommending it.
for the recent article in the tribune-review, ruth gave a really great, lengthy, in depth interview to the author. i was sitting next to her, feeling very proud as she went into great detail describing the differences between sketch and improv and standup, boldly trying to help our meeger artform stick out in the mucky soup of comedic styles.
Just got back to the mainland (Pittsburgh) from the village of Perryopolis. We lived with Tom's parents for a few days in this bustlingly beautiful land. Apparently George Washington himself lived there also. Although we never once bumped into him. WHAT A DICK!!!
i'm just going to assume that if yr internet-savvy enough to find your way here, you probably check homestar frequently, and as such i'm not giving too much away when i say that the cheat's cheatventures in moses maloneland is one of the funniest things they've done in a while. talking party socks this way!
...with all the "why is apple so cool?" articles. apple's just cool. deal with it. move on. don't explore. don't wonder aloud. don't hypothesize or speculate or emulate or write any more fucking articles about it. steve jobs doesn't hold meetings where he tries to make apple "more cool", they don't track how cool they are, they don't really have that strong a report with teenagers, who define what is and isn't cool. apple is a computer company that makes fine products. the end. stop talking about it.
are you a senior theatre student at point park university? do you have phil winters for class tuesday at 1? if so, no you don't. you've got us. barely a fortnight after teaching our first university class, we're going to be Sitting In For Mr. Winters (a good name for a show, i think) this week.
what with shane vacationing in pittsburgh between shows, i've been the only one tending to the group blog. i just did some math, and if i can post 8 more times before shane does, i'll completely bump him off the blog's main page! if i blog just twice more, all evidence of shane's assistance will be rendered archival, save one post. i think this is a worthy goal, and i'm willing to sacrifice my practical animal club responsibilities (like making dvd's and packing up extra costumes) to do it. once shane's gone, it's back to baz...oh yeah, and those other guys.
there's already a colbert report fansite, that may or may not be created by stephen colbert himself. i, for one, think it's self-made, and if i'm proven right, that will make it all the more awesome. we've been toying with the idea of developing animal club fansites, and hosting them places like geocities and tripod and whatever hosts people use for free shit nowadays. mostly, i just wanted to make chadbender.com, in honor of our recently departed piano player/beleagured contributor. turns out chadbender.com is not only taken and frequently updated, it's done so by a chad bender that our chad bender (the real chad bender) knows because they're from the same town.
oh yeah. it was a good weekend to be a steelers fan. good old len pasquerleli always tells it like it is, and his article made me smile with pride. for those not in the know, the bengals have been talked up all year as an up and coming team, young and talented, the new team to beat in the AFC north, yada yada yada. and sunday, the steelers waltzed into cincinnati and smacked them around for a few hours. steelers linebacker joey porter had the quote of the week when he said, "we restored some order, today." god, i love smack talk. i wish i could talk like that and back it up at something.
if yr in pittsburgh, you may notice we've blanketed the city, press-wise.
i was never what you would call a "fan" of Aeon Flux, but i was what you could call a "horny teenage boy" which means i did see an episode or two.
as i continute to fight bravely against the non-bird flu, i am watching four times the television i normally do. right now i'm enjoying "dogfight!" on the history channel, which is exactly what it sounds like it is.
i just lifted up my right arm, and one single, solitary sequin plopped off onto my laptop.
it's 4:11 AM, and for the first time in my life, i'm totally, almost violently unimpressed with white bread. i may never eat it again. white bread (specifically the butternut white i just wolfed down, smothered in creamy jiff) has the consistancy of a synthetic clothing material. it reforms accroding to it's packaging. it's a mold nursery as little as four days after purchase. white bread, is gross. seriously. fuck white bread.
OH YES. the new animal collective album dropped this week, and it's currently living it up in my recently repaired iPod. of course, it's good. here's what i picked up:
well, aside from a double post which i think was my fault, the new dashboard-powered blog seems to be running fine.
hey everyone. i'm testing out this API widget called "dashblog" (available on the apple widget site). just wanting to see if/how well this thing handles posts....
this little post on elephant larry's blog sparked a long lost, but totally treasured memory. that of the kingdom of loathing, the world's greatest online rpg. in it, you take your character, be he a burly Seal Clubber or mischievous Accordion Thief, through the Kingdom, completing tasks and collecting items.
someone, i'm not saying who, has misplaced his bottle of zoloft, and with the bottle, they seem to have reclaimed their superior procrastination skills. alright, i confess, it's me. i lost my zoloft, and i haven't gotten the prescription refilled yet. so, i've been on the lookout for zoloft rebound effects, and today brought the first one.
i stumbled across it, and now i'm totally, completely, unabashedly addicted:
as i've said numerous times, i live the american dream everyday, by working in an office. today, this was written on the office supply request list:
it's late notice, but a sketch-related bit of awesomeness is happening tonight at the hopleaf 51oo block n. clark (uptown/andersonville). come see white noise radio theatre alumn and funniest woman in america beth lisick read from her latest novel, "everybody into the pool" at 7:30. free! be! there!
sometime last week, shane and i sat down and started watching wrestling on purpose. it was whatever they call the wwf nowadays. it was a good matchup on paper- "the nature boy" rick flair vs. some puerto rican guy who thought things were either "cool" or "not cool". we'll call him coolio.
frequent visitors to the sports illustrated website know they drop these "photo galleries" from time to time- some meaningless list made slightly less meaningless by adding those legendary sports illustrated photos to them, in large format, bright colors and so on and so forth.
I've found a gap in this "Internet Free Zone"! So, here I sit. I have not much to say except that it's great to be here in Pittsburgh. The rivers (all three) are as I remember them-light brown with sprinklings of garbage-and the city itself remains lovely. All seems the same-EXCEPT FOR OUR SCHOOL, POINT PARK UNIVERSITY-which has undergone serious renovations that both confuse and astound us! There's carpeting were there wasn't carpeting! Windows where there were no windows! Stairs where there were no stairs that lead to places that never were!
yeah, me. i left the rest of the animal club in pittsburgh to tend to matters fiscal and artistic here in chicago. among those matters is this blog, and the other blog i contribute to. i know what you're thinking...doesn't pittsburgh have the internet? actually, no. pittsburgh is a federally designated "information free zone", where the internet doesn't exist. apparently you can't determine the internet's intellectual and cultural effect without a control, so one brave city had to volunteer to be internet free to see just how far behind it can get. if there's one thing pittsburghers are famous for, it's our inability to back down from a dare. the fed knew this, so the legislation was phrased like so:
yes it is. i've discovered the worst song ever recorded. ladies and gentlemen with iTunes, click if you dare.
the baz will play. the animal club is on it's way to pittsburgh, where we'll be doing a couple of shows and a master class for the theatre and journalism students at point park university. i'll be returning to chicago sunday night, specifically to blog for you. that's how dedicated i am.
i just did some adding, and this woman has birthed more children than i've bought playstation 2 games. but i love my video games more than she loves her kids.
i'm sure this has been blogged out the wazoo (now an official euphemism for "already covered"), but efren ramirez, better known as pedro from napoleon dynamite, has formed the "vote for pedro" tour, where he travels around, does a little dj'ing, and basically just hosts a party whereby you can go and hang out with him.
i mentioned earlier that i listen to radiopower.org at work, and i have a sad confession to make.
i do. it's an old story, dating back to 2002, but for some reason i thought i'd google jared lischner, nephew of the lesbian couple who lived next door to me growing up, and see how his sentencing went.
typos in search engines can be gun!
Tiger Woods continued growing his goatee, inspired by Hootie and the Blowfish frontman Darius Rucker. Three weeks into growth, Woods has realized complete center-chin coverage, and expects mustache-to-soul-patch unity within the month. The new whiskers recently graced the cover of Modern Moustache magazine, and another facial hair periodical, Beard, is planning a spread dedicated to Tiger's new look. Asked why he was growing the facial hair, Woods said, "I've always wanted two things: win a dozen major championships, and grow a cool goatee. Now I can die knowing that I lived my life to the fullest." With that, he pulled a revolver from his golf bag, and fatally shot himself. Reports from the scene varied, but at least one journalist was heard saying, "Hmm. Makes sense."
a new video sketch is in the can. i hope this screen grab doesn't give too much away. sorry i forgot to de-interlace it.
i've picked up this strange hobby the past few weeks. i've been playing a lot of video games, mainly because i'm depressed and like to be by myself in my room. specifically, i've been playing the only football game i have, which just so happens to be Madden 2002. i've also been listening to a lot of mice parade, which is very progressive, experimental ambient pop music.
this website is slow as molasses, but fun as all get-up. here's a bonus:
In a Past Life...
You Were: An Evil Magician.
Where You Lived: China.
How You Died: Natural causes.
This is pretty ridiculous and pretty funny. It's a past life generator.
And just when you think, how can I get a large check-Let's win $100,000 shall we? The Service Employees International Union is looking for ideas on how to help the economy grow, encourage existing companies to expand, and create well-paying jobs. The company believes that our country needs to strengthen its economy and compete better in the big world. The winning idea will be worth $100,000 and two runners-up will get $50,000 a piece. And, best of all SEIU president, Andrew Stern said this is geared towards ordinary Americans. "In Washington DC, we are still living in the last century in an industrial revolution. India and China are in overdrive and America is in neutral." A panel of twelve judges will look over each outline of seventy-five words or less and decide. Hurry, though. The deadline isn't until December 5th, but thinking takes time. This isn't something to cram for.
Did you hear this? Jacquelyn Sherman, a hurricane Katrina survivor from Opelousas, LA put $20 into a slot machine at Evangeline Downs Racetrack and Casino and became an instant millionaire! Can you believe it? Hurray for Jacquelyn! Hurray for casinos! And hurray for America! It's too good to be true, and yet, IT IS TRUE- just like Seabiscuit. And, in Seabiscuit fashion, the movie could write itself, with the title easily being plucked straight out of the story:
OK. Our short will be screened twice during the Austin Film Festival, both as part of The Second City Shorts program. Show times are Saturday October 22 at 10:45, and Tuesday October 25 at 7:00. Due to the Point Park and Funny Bone shows in Pittsburgh, none of us will be attending, but don't let that stop you. Feel free to let not living in Texas stop you, though.
The Animal Club has just joined the National Association for Campus Activities (NACA), an organization that connects college and university activity departments with performers and speakers from all across the country. We'll be appearing at the 2006 NACA National Convention in Boston in February, where we'll be booking national and regional dates for the Spring, Summer, and Fall '06 seasons.
Today, I overheard a child say this while playing with GI Joes:
What a day to be a celebrity! So many news, so little time...
Seriously. More specifically, Fuck You State Senator Patricia Miller. Fuck you and your bullshit Republican nonsense.
It starts at Midnight on Saturday in the Del Close Theatre at IO, and will likely fun forever. Aside from having the greatest name in comedy and the greatest suggestion premise ever ("Could we please have a suggestion of something hoes would fight about?"), they've got some of the funniest youngsters in the Chicago improv scene, including old Animal Club friends Andy Sloee and Mort Burke. This show is all improvised, and features a 30 minute intro video, shot by yours truly. They're not up on the schedule yet, but sometime soon they will be, so eventually check this link for info.
This is a parascript of a commercial that runs frequently on radio power, the progressive talk station i listen to at work. I hear this commercial four to six times a day.
President Bush has decided on his second nomination for Supreme Court, surprising many who doubted he'd choose a woman.
Thirteen. Good ole, unlucky thirteen. That's losing seasons in a row, now. Half my age, to be exact. The salad years of my life. Things used to be a boy from Greenfield (or Squirrel Hill, if you went by zip codes) would waste away his Indian Summer days with his knock-off Walkman, hanging on every trite phrase Lanny Frattare jammed into his microphone, picturing the lush green astroturf, the sun casting a gangly, angular shadow through the concrete mesh of Three Rivers Stadium, the stark clash of the School Bus Yellow Mezzanine seats and the Not-Quite-Burnt-Ochre of General Admission. Picturing his heroes playing small ball- a Jay Bell bunt here, a José Lind bouncer there, 3-6-3 double play. That's alright boys. We'll get 'em next time. The Bucco Express always runs on the fives, and who knows? With The Killer B's coming up, damn near anything is possible.
I've decided to give instant messaging another shot. it's the only internet technology i haven't adopted and loved. in fact i hate it. how much?
it's maybe (definitely) because i forgot entirely to sleep last night, but the notion of a copier struck me as funny a minute ago.